tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30131282688893892362024-03-23T10:15:06.575-07:00365 Days on 21st StreetAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01593917905046396082noreply@blogger.comBlogger190125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-72186511781662760172024-02-27T09:00:00.000-08:002024-02-27T09:00:12.342-08:00dream series<p> i dreamed i saw a shaman, a teacher, who gave me herbs to take for healing. we stayed in a village, surrounded by nature. i wonder if i'm being called to leave the city. </p><p>repost art from 2016 - favorite. i live by this. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUCsAPjQo6L4iUuM_4G8-B5ruNwdG3DIPgqYCcGj7C_xUjpChaduRbYDfXz8AyzCT1pzc3FjUWDYag1JU6wGkKGzJ0O07DqsCNU626f8S0KlJgaJhmOUILPoH-uLM2378mmfMRVMRDHh0CReiuTQssSLrudvdDye4eQTPVikBX-xxT8O7Qm_Bt4RXzpp0n/s640/IMG_0033.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="622" data-original-width="640" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUCsAPjQo6L4iUuM_4G8-B5ruNwdG3DIPgqYCcGj7C_xUjpChaduRbYDfXz8AyzCT1pzc3FjUWDYag1JU6wGkKGzJ0O07DqsCNU626f8S0KlJgaJhmOUILPoH-uLM2378mmfMRVMRDHh0CReiuTQssSLrudvdDye4eQTPVikBX-xxT8O7Qm_Bt4RXzpp0n/s320/IMG_0033.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p><br /></p>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-26143291537138520252023-10-11T20:14:00.002-07:002023-10-11T20:14:08.746-07:00best thing worst thing series<p>best thing: legs intertwined</p><p>worst thing: wishing things were different</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwwFrj1cOfPuTqjK0M4i02lf22FwS3OO3Yz5iFaRr8vo06L-OIPI1DNu-N86TYuBDoXkktsdEhGCxx-bApFcXWf71boUjdj7NruTOZuLA1MwzQ-pd90oOUTel9pvHHCIK-0d9fwM8Od_JJOb_Ep2MybvE-Yle17ZqTcLGNj-ZpaUiIvHi8IOJAu1nUcitb/s640/IMG_0918.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="640" data-original-width="640" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwwFrj1cOfPuTqjK0M4i02lf22FwS3OO3Yz5iFaRr8vo06L-OIPI1DNu-N86TYuBDoXkktsdEhGCxx-bApFcXWf71boUjdj7NruTOZuLA1MwzQ-pd90oOUTel9pvHHCIK-0d9fwM8Od_JJOb_Ep2MybvE-Yle17ZqTcLGNj-ZpaUiIvHi8IOJAu1nUcitb/s320/IMG_0918.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-36264397135144604192023-10-11T19:41:00.003-07:002023-11-16T18:41:02.150-08:00raw, love; love dreamsfrom undetermined era probably 2019<div><br /></div><div>letter to protectors<br />
to my army<br />
<br />
as babies, we are held in nurturance.*<br />
as children, we explore freely, guided by the gates and padded walls of our elders' word.<br />
as teens, we begin to see that we have agency and sight, opinion.<br />
as young people we experience the freedom and responsibility of adulthood.<br />
we find our paths. we study, work, play and rest.<br />
as parents, we learn that our parents were exhausted, and exhilerated with the gift of ushering in a new being. the holding on, the letting go.<br />
as business people we walk lightly, we express our needs, and understand how to move within our own boundaries.<br />
in relationship, we see how we are seen.<br />
<br />
i look at my life.<br />
<br />
born of two strong, beautiful humans; they themselves born of strong, caring and hard working parents, and those before them, and on and on.<br />
<br />
born into laughter. tall grasses. warm sand and cool waves. candy and bubble baths and music. pain and longing and learning to read, learning to draw, learning that it hurts when we don't receive the energy that is essential for our thriving.<br />
<br />
we may witness abuse, we may be abused, neglected, or left alone.<br />
<br />
as we heal, we begin to understand the power of acceptance. we know we can control our reactions, our responses. forgiveness.<br />
<br />
everything we do is to give or to receive love.<br />
<br />
our work is to remain in our light.<br />
<br />
our work is to reach out for help when needed, to show up, to appreciate what's right in front of us, to rest, to play, to connect.<br />
<br />
we dream.<br />
<br />
you might think i'm crazy; all i want is you.<br />
<br />
*trauma is healable. we must listen, allow the heart to feel; we need to cry, laugh, dance and sit quietly with our bodies. everything is given. all is healed.<br />
<br /><br />
<br />
<br /></div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-42652290227954442212021-07-19T09:17:00.000-07:002021-07-19T09:17:01.105-07:00best things worst things series<p>worst thing- anguish and grief and loneliness and needing more </p><p>best thing: danny in his undies :) </p>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-73960714416675909082021-07-11T14:01:00.004-07:002021-07-11T14:01:49.260-07:00best thing series<p>it must've been love but it's over now; daddy cool and the paper clip and Church and money</p>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-44392351130958134772019-05-07T09:11:00.000-07:002019-05-07T09:35:50.316-07:00dreams/thoughts series<a href="https://youtu.be/oshAwUmxSqA">X</a><br />
<br />
and pulling teeth out<br />
<br />
are your thoughts true? suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-16879663783121563852019-05-02T21:03:00.000-07:002019-05-02T21:03:03.292-07:00can you feel it?so many songs.<br />
i dreamed of a spider crawling down by me, me trying to catch the silk to redirect it off of me. looked it up. create, create, create (medicine cards).<br />
i can't believe its been a whole day. wtf. my mental state spun and spun and i'm exhausted.<br />
and then... i dreamed of a very unsettled house. my room kept changing shape. i didn't know my housemate's name.<br />
and then i made a playlist among them feel it by kate bush, everybody wants you original version, blame it on the boogie. #lovealways<br />
fucking not mary poppins over here.<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-44579880230096980242019-04-27T13:55:00.002-07:002019-05-01T14:57:01.405-07:00detachment, what is love seriesi am love<br />
i am what i receive<br />
i am<br />
how come you don't call me anymore<br />
i am<br />
everybody wants you<br />
i am<br />
shit ain't really working out<br />
i am<br />
ooooh i wanna dance with somebody<br />
i am<br />
let me put my love into you<br />
i am<br />
i want to leave you uplifted and inspired<br />
i am<br />
unknowing<br />
i am<br />
giving what i want to get<br />
i am<br />
life ain't nothin but bitches and money<br />
i am<br />
you don't want to fall in love with me<br />
i am<br />
can't touch this<br />
i am<br />
i just wanna make out in my car<br />
i am <br />
even freedom craves touch <br />
i am loss<br />
i am love<br />
i am<br />
my break up playlist<br />
and my falling in love playlist<br />
i am death<br />
i am raindrops<br />
i am a tooth<br />
i am a kitten<br />
i am the photograph on my wall<br />
i am a dream<br />
i am sex <br />
the wind blowing pictures off the dresser<br />
i am pure awareness.<br />
my love is peace.<br />
<br />
i am<br />
i am<br />
i am<br />
i am<br />
mutherfkr i am<br />
<br />
all the things<br />
the bits of glass<br />
the broken string<br />
i am thanks for introducing me to the chief<br />
<br />
i am wanted<br />
<br />
cherished, respected, admired, adored and desired<br />
<br />
i am good giving and game and i am on a mission from gaaaad<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-90478492094645004452019-03-26T11:54:00.002-07:002019-03-26T11:54:31.935-07:00spirit, dream seriesi am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
i am spirit.<br />
<br />
this was a song that hasn't been produced. rap. trap. friend of mine is inviting an oracle divination card art project. reverence. (sarcasm.) devotion. acceptance. vulnerability. what is time? time isn't holding us, time isn't after us. and yet we die. all i want to do is love. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/AJDzN4RrSt8">lay your hands on me</a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-34038272185646629052019-03-11T18:47:00.002-07:002019-03-11T20:28:42.668-07:00desire is to peanut butter, as suffering is to arugulaamateur buddhism! doesn't even quite make sense. i prefer 'you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!'<br />
<br />
but i digress. the whole thing is supposed to be about detachment. that desire is the root of suffering. which is why people breathe in groups. it's soothing, and it kind of reminds you that you are not this. in fact i really don't understand the whole peanut butter arugula metaphor. but it was meant to alleviate suffering, so. <br />
<br />
and the song of the day, as a reminder, is<br />
<a href="https://youtu.be/bkzhDMROGpc">lighten up, by the beastie boys</a><br />
<br />
suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-42372994307983877482019-03-01T15:11:00.001-08:002019-03-02T13:52:19.653-08:00what you won’t do for loveyou tried everything and you won’t give up<br />
#soul <br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-28236636001070463862019-02-02T13:26:00.002-08:002019-02-12T19:33:36.009-08:00basically, feed mecan someone just lay me down and drop a grape or two into my mouth? rub my calves with almond oil and peppermint? brush the lines on my brow. and kiss below my ears so gently. i'm tired. my mother isn't here. and i'm too old for my father to father me.<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-27704266300843353802019-02-01T21:48:00.001-08:002019-02-03T21:37:51.900-08:00dreams, no dreams seriesy’ever have those suggestive dreams that try to convince you that something or someone is in reality something it/they most likely is/are not? and did you ever act on it and regret it, later realizing that ‘it was just a dream?’ as if, dreams are only always metaphor. only, always. <br />
<br />
have you ever practiced just feeling your body breathing, feeling the breath move in and down and up and out? it’s really rich. let’s try it. okay feel the breath expand the chest and belly, lower abdomen, and into the genital area. now exhale and imagine the breath rising up the spine and out the top of the head. i suspect it’s alright to switch directions. yeah i was listening to david deida. and, another book i have on the shelf about circular breathing. i think that’s what grown ups do.<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-40691515826113410502019-01-29T22:18:00.001-08:002019-02-12T20:24:55.709-08:00dammit. rules. rule #1. no breaking up in hot tubs.<br />
rule #2. no dating poets.<br />
rule #3. two drink maximum.<br />
4. use your turn signals<br />
5. do the right thing<br />
<br />
and rule #6. do not make 99 problems and a bitch ain't one your theme song for dating.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-58535801621105193022018-12-27T18:24:00.001-08:002018-12-27T18:24:06.077-08:00the occasional chill[title reference to the legalization of marijuana]<br />
<br />
dreamed
of a talked about piece of artwork called the sun. finally towards the
end of the dream, this work showed itself: it was a moving triptych,
vertical framed photographs that, like augmented reality, changed like a
live sunset depending on which way you rotated the frames.<br />
<br />
the other dreams have been lofty loverly hopeful flying and something about lizard children.<br />
<br />
it's
a new year soon. things end and begin here we are. still the most
important things are free, and usually right in front of us. i think this is loneliness. suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-25656767812665364922017-02-28T19:04:00.003-08:002017-02-28T19:04:41.811-08:00my favorite shoes i never wear, and my favorite band is cocorosie.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWVwBQjZlIWwOQmBRFau4sDpD3yObbS0NTansj6m8SCJJNRcKbuW7MOEX54pkj23Tes2ds3BCNRm6JQ0ZxO-eV2vwDs7SLZos8gt3VuHnNSVPoaTSr89qCx8PKpHTDvUNXDb1A66pN7Iz/s1600/comstock_susan_loveholds_2%2522_x_2%2522.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfWVwBQjZlIWwOQmBRFau4sDpD3yObbS0NTansj6m8SCJJNRcKbuW7MOEX54pkj23Tes2ds3BCNRm6JQ0ZxO-eV2vwDs7SLZos8gt3VuHnNSVPoaTSr89qCx8PKpHTDvUNXDb1A66pN7Iz/s320/comstock_susan_loveholds_2%2522_x_2%2522.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-13493871432551635492017-02-19T12:17:00.001-08:002017-02-19T12:21:06.896-08:00po'tryt.s. eliot: distracted from distraction by distraction.<br />
<br />
distraction: from latin, dis-trahere, to pull apart.<br />
<br />
to divert full attention<br />
<br />
ah ha, if to pull apart, focus in different directions, then, where is center? is not center always present? which is why the metaphor of yoga appeals: pulling in opposite directions, yet always centered. focus on the constancy, repetition of the breath.<br />
<br />
peace is in emptiness.<br />
<br />
and, <a href="http://videos.sapo.pt/J8Pn3deCJwRLOlZbMG4Q">prince</a>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-88253976426726530412016-09-15T13:02:00.001-07:002016-09-15T13:58:25.775-07:00rejoicehttps://youtu.be/CoaXgiCA_C4<div><br></div><div>forgiveness is a direct statement of connection. </div><div><br></div><div>know your internal landscape. </div><div><br></div><div>you are love. you are love. you are loved. you are loving. you matter. that is all you have come here for. your heart is worth everything. </div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-25317101962312415212016-09-13T21:50:00.001-07:002016-09-14T15:27:05.610-07:00but the best thing; contrast seriesi saw and felt and tasted many beautiful things this weekend, including the rudolf steiner center garden, the lotus center home, aba daba something, happy om, you faerie, grace jones for the first time, my lover's eyes and surrender in body, the moon, my son exclaiming lovingly about a spider in the bush, rock and broken glass, eucalyptus vibrant rainbow leaves, a hawk, or two, a lone coyote, aries vegan poet nutritonist friend's black bean drop off, gay spirited lean black angst knowing, resistance and teaching binary language to said son, ex lover now non separate dream friend, another's pregnant dreams, a two waterfall pool, craft trade business model in the flesh of a blond 41 year old connected thing, lavender cotton baby shorts for a brand new baby life, yet unnamed, yet unlived, a blurred and clear freeway at night; heard deep sound resonance, benign healing lechery, forgiveness and generosity, fuck off laughter, sprouted raw sheep cheese salad, salmon flavored five o'clock, crickets, whatsapp recordimg of radio pop songs on faithfulness, and my own and other's praise, words, essays and truths; but the best thing i witnessed was an overweight suburbian once lonely purposeless lost purposeful mom using a leaf blower to dust her SUV, parked on a cul de sac..suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-47956087330733845802016-09-09T06:40:00.001-07:002016-09-09T06:42:59.510-07:00dream series, and car alarmszombies. ferreal. running, hiding from. coming in the back door, coming up the front stairs. trapped. later group yoga and a faulty plane and a bus that tipped over from too many people in it, 'cause they were running away from zombies.<div><br></div><div>car alarm, that sweet sound, right out front, three minutes. what goes thru the mind. hmmm. accept. ear plugs. note? love letter to car owners with car alarms. </div><div><br></div><div>listen, ha, your lovely car alarm. ugh, nevermind.</div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-76997654912122493452016-09-08T06:52:00.001-07:002016-09-08T09:45:06.097-07:00is there a theme?naked/clothed<div><br></div><div>awake/dreaming</div><div><br></div><div>trust/deception</div><div><br></div><div>wet/dry</div><div><br></div><div>premeditated/accidental</div><div><br></div><div>parent/childless</div><div><br></div><div>sweet/sour</div><div><br></div><div>adequate/unacceptable</div><div><br></div><div>malleable/inflexible</div><div><br></div><div>creativity/stagnation, death</div><div><br></div><div>* * * </div><div><br></div><div>you know when you wake with a story or theme? or a theme derived from a story? and it is distilled into words, but to extricate the nuance is more time consuming than you might allow that morning? so the symbolic meanings play out, and you do your best to stay legal and get to work, and stop to explain little by little. when you probably can't. and it doesn't matter. no one knows your heart, your fears, your soul like you do. love each other, love each other. listen, listen. we get to individuate, and we get to collect. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-17521248729353014522016-08-28T17:08:00.001-07:002016-08-28T17:08:00.859-07:00heard on the street series, straight outta my mouth<div><br></div><div><br></div>who am i? <div><br></div><div>did i just propose we <b>do a market research project to determine the unmet needs of consumers related to ping.earth concept? </b></div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-75040985464614777562016-08-24T14:51:00.001-07:002016-08-24T14:51:38.655-07:00no timestory completely changed; dream series on detachment<div><br></div><div>and, humanity fails again, loading dishwasher series</div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-9117619150212472292016-08-05T10:43:00.001-07:002016-08-05T10:43:16.976-07:00life ismessy and dangerous<div><br></div><div>i'm tripping over inspiration and choking on my own emptiness. </div><div><br></div><div>acknowledgent goes to ferrucci.com and jane lerner, etcetera</div>suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3013128268889389236.post-57035190012798880182016-08-01T23:01:00.001-07:002016-08-01T23:01:35.046-07:00puritya mother is likely to feel, my child has a pure heart. suznhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11650192491120844470noreply@blogger.com0