dreams/thoughts series

X

and pulling teeth out

are your thoughts true?

can you feel it?

so many songs.
i dreamed of a spider crawling down by me, me trying to catch the silk to redirect it off of me. looked it up. create, create, create (medicine cards).
i can't believe its been a whole day. wtf. my mental state spun and spun and i'm exhausted.
and then... i dreamed of a very unsettled house. my room kept changing shape. i didn't know my housemate's name.
and then i made a playlist among them feel it by kate bush, everybody wants you original version, blame it on the boogie. #lovealways
fucking not mary poppins over here.

detachment, what is love series

i am love
i am what i receive
i am
how come you don't call me anymore
i am
everybody wants you
i am
shit ain't really working out
i am
ooooh i wanna dance with somebody
i am
let me put my love into you
i am
i want to leave you uplifted and inspired
i am
unknowing
i am
giving what i want to get
i am
life ain't nothin but bitches and money
i am
you don't want to fall in love with me
i am
can't touch this
i am
i just wanna make out in my car
i am
even freedom craves touch
i am loss
i am love
i am
my break up playlist
and my falling in love playlist
i am death
i am raindrops
i am a tooth
i am a kitten
i am the photograph on my wall
i am a dream
i am sex
the wind blowing pictures off the dresser
i am pure awareness.
my love is peace.

i am
i am
i am
i am
mutherfkr i am

all the things
the bits of glass
the broken string
i am thanks for introducing me to the chief

i am wanted

cherished, respected, admired, adored and desired

i am good giving and game and i am on a mission from gaaaad

spirit, dream series

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

this was a song that hasn't been produced. rap. trap.  friend of mine is inviting an oracle divination card art project. reverence. (sarcasm.) devotion. acceptance. vulnerability. what is time? time isn't holding us, time isn't after us. and yet we die. all i want to do is love.

lay your hands on me

desire is to peanut butter, as suffering is to arugula

amateur buddhism! doesn't even quite make sense. i prefer 'you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!'

but i digress. the whole thing is supposed to be about detachment. that desire is the root of suffering. which is why people breathe in groups. it's soothing, and it kind of reminds you that you are not this. in fact i really don't understand the whole peanut butter arugula metaphor. but it was meant to alleviate suffering, so.

and the song of the day, as a reminder, is
lighten up, by the beastie boys

what you won’t do for love

you tried everything and you won’t give up
#soul

basically, feed me

can someone just lay me down and drop a grape or two into my mouth? rub my calves with almond oil and peppermint? brush the lines on my brow. and kiss below my ears so gently. i'm tired. my mother isn't here. and i'm too old for my father to father me.

dreams, no dreams series

y’ever have those suggestive dreams that try to convince you that something or someone is in reality something it/they most likely is/are not? and did you ever act on it and regret it, later realizing that ‘it was just a dream?’ as if, dreams are only always metaphor. only, always.

have you ever practiced just feeling your body breathing, feeling the breath move in and down and up and out? it’s really rich. let’s try it. okay feel the breath expand the chest and belly, lower abdomen, and into the genital area. now exhale and imagine the breath rising up the spine and out the top of the head. i suspect it’s alright to switch directions. yeah i was listening to david deida. and, another book i have on the shelf about circular breathing. i think that’s what grown ups do.

dammit. rules.

rule #1. no breaking up in hot tubs.
rule #2. no dating poets.
rule #3. two drink maximum.
4. use your turn signals
5. do the right thing

and rule #6. do not make 99 problems and a bitch ain't one your theme song for dating.