Saturday, July 27, 2019

raw, love; love dreams

letter to protectors
to my army

as babies, we are held in nurturance.*
as children, we explore freely, guided by the gates and padded walls of our elders' word.
as teens, we begin to see that we have agency and sight, opinion.
as young people we experience the freedom and responsibility of adulthood.
we find our paths. we study, work, play and rest.
as parents, we learn that our parents were exhausted, and exhilerated with the gift of ushering in a new being. the holding on, the letting go.
as business people we walk lightly, we express our needs, and understand how to move within our own boundaries.
in relationship, we see how we are seen.

i look at my life.

born of two strong, beautiful humans; they themselves born of strong, caring and hard working parents, and those before them, and on and on.

born into laughter. tall grasses. warm sand and cool waves. candy and bubble baths and music. pain and longing and learning to read, learning to draw, learning that it hurts when we don't receive the energy that is essential for our thriving.

we may witness abuse, we may be abused, neglected, or left alone.

as we heal, we begin to understand the power of acceptance. we know we can control our reactions, if not our responses. forgiveness.

everything we do is to give or to receive love.

our work is to remain in our light.

our work is to reach out for help when needed, to show up, to appreciate what's right in front of us, to rest, to play, to connect.

we dream.

you might think i'm crazy; all i want is you.



*trauma is healable. we must listen, allow the heart to feel; we need to cry, laugh, dance and sit quietly with our bodies. everything is given. all is healed.

the only thing that should be raw is your heart, and your mouth.

#kingkong #ways #quietcoyote


Tuesday, May 7, 2019

Thursday, May 2, 2019

can you feel it?

so many songs.
i dreamed of a spider crawling down by me, me trying to catch the silk to redirect it off of me. looked it up. create, create, create (medicine cards).
i can't believe its been a whole day. wtf. my mental state spun and spun and i'm exhausted.
and then... i dreamed of a very unsettled house. my room kept changing shape. i didn't know my housemate's name.
and then i made a playlist among them feel it by kate bush, everybody wants you original version, blame it on the boogie. #lovealways
fucking not mary poppins over here.


Saturday, April 27, 2019

detachment, what is love series

i am love
i am what i receive
i am
how come you don't call me anymore
i am
everybody wants you
i am
shit ain't really working out
i am
ooooh i wanna dance with somebody
i am
let me put my love into you
i am
i want to leave you uplifted and inspired
i am
unknowing
i am
giving what i want to get
i am
life ain't nothin but bitches and money
i am
you don't want to fall in love with me
i am
can't touch this
i am
i just wanna make out in my car
i am
even freedom craves touch
i am loss
i am love
i am
my break up playlist
and my falling in love playlist
i am death
i am raindrops
i am a tooth
i am a kitten
i am the photograph on my wall
i am a dream
i am sex
the wind blowing pictures off the dresser
i am pure awareness.
my love is peace.

i am
i am
i am
i am
mutherfkr i am

all the things
the bits of glass
the broken string
i am thanks for introducing me to the chief

i am wanted

cherished, respected, admired, adored and desired

i am good giving and game and i am on a mission from gaaaad








Tuesday, March 26, 2019

spirit, dream series

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

i am spirit.

this was a song that hasn't been produced. rap. trap.  friend of mine is inviting an oracle divination card art project. reverence. (sarcasm.) devotion. acceptance. vulnerability. what is time? time isn't holding us, time isn't after us. and yet we die. all i want to do is love.

lay your hands on me



Monday, March 11, 2019

desire is to peanut butter, as suffering is to arugula

amateur buddhism! doesn't even quite make sense. i prefer 'you got your peanut butter in my chocolate!'

but i digress. the whole thing is supposed to be about detachment. that desire is the root of suffering. which is why people breathe in groups. it's soothing, and it kind of reminds you that you are not this. in fact i really don't understand the whole peanut butter arugula metaphor. but it was meant to alleviate suffering, so.

and the song of the day, as a reminder, is
lighten up, by the beastie boys

Friday, March 1, 2019