i see it in his smile when he tells me about nurture and his roots
he is not a father in the literal sense
but he reminds me of mine, conversations sometimes feel surface
or
similar or limited
i am lucky
i am healthy
i am active
i am surrounded with abundance
fathers and father figures lighting the way for gratitude
words, seeds, growing things
lightning field
warm rain
no mistake
***
imaginary conversation:
dad: i have a surprise
me: (it isn't april fools and i am not five) you are secretly a millionaire but you 've been waiting to make sure i could take care of myself before you made me trust fund child at age forty six?
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